Courtney M. McSwain

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Lara Dalinsky on…Bouncing Back

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(Photo: Courtesy of Lara Dalinsky)

Lara Dalinsky lives the type of artistic life that creatives dream of. Through her job as art director for the branding firm Belmont Inc., in Alexandria, Va., Lara is able to apply her artistic design skills every day in order to help people and organizations share their story with the world. Lara also works on additional freelance design projects, and fulfills her penchant for travel writing as the founding editor and creative director for the independent travel site enroutetraveler.com. What began as a passion project has allowed her to become a trusted source for destination expertise as well as a local DC-area travel expert for AFAR – a media company dedicated to experiential travel. If that’s not enough, she spends her spare time instructing high-energy Zumba and practicing yoga.

When I think of what a “good life” looks like, I see a lot of what Lara has cultivated for herself – enjoyable work, fulfilling hobbies, and carving out time for traveling and fun adventures. It’s sometimes difficult to create the kind of life where artistic living takes center stage, and we don’t always see the ups and downs that people go through to get there. I’m lucky enough to get to talk to Lara often as her office-mate in our shared workspace, and I wondered how she’s been able to build her creative life and bounce back from mistakes she’s made on the journey. She was gracious enough to offer these wonderful insights.

How did you start in graphic design and travel writing? How do the two things work together for you?

As a child I was always making things and expressing myself, mostly in the forms of pictures, dance, and music, but never thought about making a career out of it. I also have the type of mind that loves to figure things out and put things in order. I went to a liberal arts college and started taking drawing classes the second semester of my freshman year. It instantly became my favorite class and I naturally excelled at it. After talking to some professors and researching the art program, I realized I could pursue a career in design to marry both my love of art and problem solving.

In elementary school, my mother worked as a flight attendant and would whisk my sister and I away on trips around the world, opening my eyes to new cultures and perspectives. My zeal for travel bled into adulthood. Many of my friends enjoyed seeing my travel photography and asked me for recommendations or to plan trips for them. I decided to tackle writing – even though it is very much outside of my comfort zone – by starting my website, En Route Traveler. It provides articles, stories and tips geared toward independent travelers.

Writing travel guides is similar to design in that both require me to organize information. The difference is that one method is language-based and the other is more visual. I’m also drawn to design and travel because they both deal with experiencing and processing the world around us.

What led you to dedicate yourself to living a life of creativity?

I chose my career path because I believe that design can elevate people’s lives. The desire to make things and fulfill our potential is what has helped mankind evolve. It is our ingenuity that separates us from other species.

There’s a misconception that creativity only pertains to the arts when, in actuality, it’s the ability to connect the dots and innovate in any industry. It’s a shame that creativity is a skill that is not nurtured more in school across all subjects and that as adults, we’re not encouraged to play more. Grownups are so worried about getting it right that we become scared to experiment and make mistakes, denying ourselves the room for improvement.

Was there a time when you made a mistake on your creative journey? How did you bounce back?

Many of my mistakes didn’t come from saying the wrong thing, but not saying anything at all. I have committed to freelance design projects in the past where I undervalued myself by not charging enough or agreeing to work on a project that I knew was not a good fit. I thought that if I turned down offers, nobody else would want to work with me. This has resulted in situations where I overstretched myself, didn’t enjoy the work, and ended up feeling stressed and resentful.

It’s an ongoing process, but I’ve learned how to gracefully say “no” and charge what I’m worth. Many people assume that because my job is fun that I’d do it for free, but they’d never expect that of other professionals like accountants or lawyers. When I don’t have the time or desire to work on a particular job, I now tell my clients that I can’t take it on because I wouldn’t give it the attention it deserves (and then usually try to refer them to someone else). I was surprised the first time I tried this approach – I regretfully had to refuse a travel-writing gig and my contact thanked me for being honest and respectful of his time. Now, when I put together estimates, I outline all the behind-the-scenes effort and highlight the value of the finished product. This helps the client understand how much time and thought goes into my work.

What advice would you give artists and changemakers who are trying to bounce back from a mistake?

Here are a few valuable lessons that I’ve learned over my career:

  1. Mistakes help us grow. Remember that mistakes are wisdom in disguise and we all make them. If you mess up, it’s an opportunity to assess your actions and learn what could be done better the next time. This Michael Jordan quote is used often, but makes a strong point: “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” It may feel like failure at the time, but really you’re gaining valuable experience.
  2. Realize it may take a few tries. Sometimes when I’m stuck on a problem, it may take a few times to get it right. We may make mistakes, take a different path the next time and discover it’s still not the correct one. You can’t beat yourself up—you have to move on. If you keep trying, at least you’re going somewhere new. If you don’t, you end up stuck somewhere you don’t want to be.
  3. Talk to your peers or mentors. When faced with a challenge, it always helps to go to your peers or mentors for advice and a fresh perspective. They may have already faced a similar situation and have valuable suggestions. Plus, it’s always comforting to feel validated and understood.

What’s the dream for Lara Dalinsky?

I have many and am already living some of them! I hope to keep growing and exploring my creative avenues. For example, I’m starting to dabble in video so I can post travel tips and guides to YouTube. I’d love to live abroad for a while, and there are always new parts of the world I want to discover. I would like to dedicate more time to En Route Traveler, not just to feature my work but to continue building a community of like-minded travelers and showcase the work of other talent. It would be great to build enough of a reputation that I could find sponsors who would want to send us on adventures. Finally, I would like to do some type of volunteer work that helps people unlock their creativity and realize their own potential.

***

Thanks Lara for sharing your thoughts! You can follow Lara and friends on their wanderlust adventures at enroutetraveler.com, and get great photos, tips and more on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Dear Reader: On Bouncing Back from Mistakes

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(Photo: (CC), recoverling)

Dear Reader,

I’m sorry. My last post was in February, and I promised myself I wouldn’t take anymore unaccounted for hiatuses from this blog. More than that, I’m trying to build your trust as a reader that I will have my act together and provide the content that’s in my heart to provide and, hopefully, you will grow to appreciate.

Nonetheless, I didn’t live up to that goal over the past three months. I made a mistake.

Bouncing back from making mistakes isn’t always easy. I’m not sure it’s ever easy, for me anyway. Nevertheless, on the road to following one’s dreams, mistakes are bound to happen. I’ve racked up my fair share. In making mistakes, I’ve tried to offer myself grace and not hold onto the guilt of being imperfect – nobody is, after all.

Getting over one’s own mistakes is one thing, but what happens when our mistakes impact others? As we’re pursuing our dreams as creative entrepreneurs, artists or world changers, what if we do something that hurts someone else? Unintentionally, to be sure, but resulting in hurt nonetheless. How do we recover? How do we go about saying, “I’m sorry?”

That’s what I want to explore this month on the blog. I’m starting with a make-up post from Rozella Haydée White who was kind enough to give me her thoughts on “Faith and Work” for the Artists and Chanemakers Q&A series. I was supposed to post that Q&A in February, so I’m owning up to my mistakes and sharing Rozella’s really beautiful insights this month, hoping that she (and you) will forgive me for my tardiness. Later this month, I’ll share some of the lessons I’ve learned about making mistakes and why it’s important to acknowledge them. And I’ve asked my friend Lara Dalinsky, graphic designer, travel writer and all-around cool spirit, to share her thoughts on bouncing back from mistakes.

I wanted to explore the topic of making mistakes because, if you decide to set yourself on a path to following your creative calling, you will make them. I think it’s important to know you’re not alone…and, that there is a way to recover.

See you all the rest of this month (I promise!)

XO
Courtney

Rozella Haydée White On…Faith & Work

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(Photo: Courtesy of Rozella Haydée White)

Rozella Haydée White is a ministry professional called to help young adults as they explore questions related to faith, identity, vocation and leadership. Rozella lives out this calling in a variety of ways – as the Program Director for Young Adult Ministry for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA); as a travel guide who leads people on “Sacred Travel Journeys,” helping them transform their heart, mind and soul; as a blogger who writes about mental health awareness, particularly among young Black women of faith; and as a social change agent who pursues faith-based approaches to social justice.

I first came across Rozella’s work on Twitter (where else?) and was instantly drawn to her commitment to working for change and transformation using faith as a foundation. More than that, I love that Rozella is someone who has found ways to incorporate varied gifts into a purpose-driven life.

I reached out to Rozella to ask her how she incorporates faith into her work. As a ministry professional, that might seem like a question with an obvious answer. But the journey Rozella shares about understanding how her faith makes up the foundation of what she does in all aspects of her life is helpful for any artist or changemaker who draws on faith to motivate their work. Here’s what Rozella had to say.

What role does faith play in your life as an entrepreneur and creative person?  
I work for the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (the denomination) and my main job is to direct ministry for young adults, people between the ages of 18 and 30, nationally. So my work and my faith are inextricably linked. In my tradition, we have a way of talking about what we do in terms of living out our daily lives. We talk about vocation as this place where God calls us; we use our gifts and our passions and we connect needs that are present around us. We also say vocation is not something you do but it’s also who you are – you have a vocation to be a partner, a vocation to be a parent, a vocation to be an educator. So for me, faith is all over and is the reason why I do what I do.

And all of the projects and endeavors that I engage on the side come from that same place. It’s a matter of thinking about how my gifts and passions are being called into being to actually meet a need or walk alongside folks in a particular way.

Has that always been your perspective?

Broadly, it has always been my perspective, even though I didn’t live that out until early young adulthood. I was raised in a home that was a faith-based home. We were always engaged in church and faith-based community opportunities. But I did not have any desire to work in the church. I went to school initially to be a lawyer and thought about church as something that was ancillary. All of that changed when I actually encountered life and things kind of happened – dealing with mental illness, dealing with family, dealing with major familial and educational transitions – and it led me back to a faith-based summer camp where I used to work. I started to go deeper into what I believed and why I believed it. [Then] opportunities started presenting themselves that were connected to my faith. It wasn’t until basically I hit rock bottom – all the plans that I had for myself fell apart and I had to go back to the drawing board and figure out what I was doing – that I recognized how my faith was a part of who I was and it undergirded all that God had been calling me to do.

How did your faith help you overcome that “rock-bottom” period? 

One of the reasons I work with young adults is because I feel like behind early childhood, young adulthood is the next hugely formative time in people’s lives where so many transitions are happening and so many things are going on – questioning one’s identity, questioning one’s values, figuring out one’s purpose in the world.  And so all of that was happening for me. Because I was connected to the faith-based community, I ended up working for the church as those things were happening and it caused me to go deeper into understanding my faith. I started to question and challenge and really think critically about what I said I believed and how that connected during the times of suffering I was experiencing. Because I was working in ministry at the same time that I was having some of these transformations and breakthroughs, it caused me to put the two together in a particular way.

Do you have conversations with other artists or changemakers who do not work in ministry? How do they incorporate faith into their work spaces? 

There’s a huge desire for many of my friends, and myself, to be where people are and connect with folks in authentic ways. I have friends who are faith-based people who may not work in the church. For my friends that are in the science fields [for example], there’s tension because so much of that community has a complicated relationship with God or a higher power, I think for valid reasons. When you’re dealing with science and logic—faith is the opposite of that. So they find themselves in those places trying to hold fast to what they believe even as they try to communicate also that they are expansive.

I tend to run in progressive circles, by and large, and my denomination is left-of-center in many respects. We would be the people of faith who say God created science and God created faith and the two can interact together. So I feel like my friends in science are trying to be that bridge.

I think about that too with friends who work in the political realm. So much of what they encounter is about the individual – manipulating and getting people to do what you want them to do. I think it’s a constant battle [for them] in some of those spaces to live out their faith and hold fast to the beliefs that undergird them as they are in spaces that don’t come from the same operating values.

What advice would you give those friends or others on allowing their faith tradition into their creative or business lives?  
One of the things that I am realizing as I get older is the need for us to be in community – not just community from a social perspective, but community that holds you accountable, that supports you, that uplifts you and that you also do the same for. 
I always encourage folks to not be isolated. If there are things that are important to you, form a community or connect with a community. It could be two people, one person, three people, a small group, a church – but be connected to something outside of what you’re doing that continues to encourage that.

The other thing I always tell people, and I practice this myself, is the importance of ongoing self-care. How is it that you are evolving in your awareness of yourself and what you value? Are you hearing from other people – whether a coach, a spiritual director, a therapist – as you are engaging in some of these issues? If it’s important for your faith to be in the forefront of what you’re doing, then how is it that you’re paying attention to yourself and your personhood as you’re continuing to develop?

***

Many thanks to Rozella for sharing her thoughts on faith and work! Be sure to learn more about Rozella by visiting her website, follow her on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook.

Jake Thompson On…Faith & Work

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(Photo: Courtesy of Jake Thompson)

I had heard Jake Thompson’s name mentioned as someone to learn from when it comes to creating a meaningful brand. When I checked out the website for Compete Every Day, the company he founded and serves as chief encouragement officer for, I immediately knew why his was an example of great storytelling. Compete Every Day is a lifestyle brand that sells t-shirts and apparel; but spend just a few minutes on the website and its true mission of encouraging people to fight, every day, for their lives and dreams shines through more clearly than any t-shirt design. In following the story of Compete Every Day, I also began to observe how Jake weaves his own personal story and beliefs into the lifeblood of his company. Even when it comes to his own faith, Jake allows his personal beliefs to influence his work without alienating customers or team members who may believe differently. Even through his own Twitter page, Jake thoughtfully sends encouragement, sometimes through specific words of religious faith and sometimes not, but always with a sense of humility felt even through a 140-character tweet.

Curious about how Jake manages to integrate his faith and creative work, I reached out to him to get his thoughts, which he graciously shared in the following Q&A.

What role does faith play in your life as an entrepreneur and creative person?

It plays an integral role in anything I do. What you believe influences the lens through which you see the world. My goal has always been to create great art. Every artist’s goal is to create something great. It’s nearly impossible for someone to pour themselves into creating something that isn’t influenced by how they see the world, what they believe and how they see others.

Have you confronted challenges with incorporating your faith into your business or creative life?

Absolutely, especially when I started Compete Every Day early on. We did not want to be a religious brand – that was never our goal. [Our] message is not about a specific religion or belief – the idea for competing for your life, I feel, is universal. But it’s hard for it not to be influenced by how I believe, how I see things, how I love people. Understanding how you separate yourself from that is definitely a challenge. I want what I believe and how I see and love on people to influence the brand, but you also don’t want to completely alienate people who don’t see things your way.

It was really difficult at first to balance. I still think that a lot of the things we say and do are influenced by what I believe, because I think it’s hard to completely remove yourself from something you’ve created. At the same time, we’ve taken a religious agnostic stance on the brand itself because we aren’t saying this is the only group that gets this Compete Every Day message.

One of the first instances I had where I was really struggling with this [was when] we had a booth at the San Diego Rock and Roll Marathon. At the time we had a girls tank top that had the word “faith” on the front – which was very open ended in what [people] wanted that to mean. I had a lady come in and [she] asked me some specific religious questions: “Was it referred to Christianity or a Christian viewpoint?” My response to her was simply that it could be faith in what you believe, in what you’re doing on this earth, and what you believe your purpose is; it’s up to each person to decide how they want that to be displayed because they would be the one wearing it and telling the story when someone asks [about it]. She said, “Well, I wouldn’t wear it if it was something Christian based, but I love it. I want it, I believe in what I’m doing,” and so she grabbed it. Not ten minutes later, someone else walked in and bought it for completely opposite reasons. She wanted it for a Christian viewpoint; that’s what she felt it meant to her and wanted to talk about. At that moment, I realized we had a very fine line to walk because the message of Compete Every Day was applicable to so many different backgrounds and so many different beliefs.

Was there a time when you hit a wall on your journey? How did your faith help you overcome it?

The life of an entrepreneur is a constant roller coaster where you’re just trying to maintain stability. You’re not trying to get too high with the highs or too low with the lows. And when you own the business, you pour so much of your life and soul into it, that it’s really hard to pull your heart and soul out of it and look at things neutrally. So when you do get a victory you really take it to heart, and when you do have a failure, you take it more personally than someone else might in a professional setting.

I’ve had situations where I really wondered, “How are we going to get out of this financially? Are we ever going to make it?” That’s a struggle I think a lot of people deal with daily. I can admit that every so often I have those conversations about doubt and fear that creep into my mind, and I go back to my personal belief that I was born and blessed with certain abilities of encouragement, leadership and making an impact for my faith. So when I look at these tough situations, I try to remind myself of the bigger picture – of why I’m doing this.

In the darkest moments of when I question whether I have what it takes, it’s great to draw on the belief that I was put in this position to make an impact; I was given this blessing of a business and a message to share and I need to see it through. At the end of the day, it’s not about me; it’s about the impact that I can make. Having that faith is crucial for the toughest days, because the doubts and fears can always become a deafening noise in your head if you let them and you don’t focus on what’s really important – what your true mission is here on earth and what you’re trying to do.

Do you have conversations with other artists or changemakers about your faith? What have those conversations taught you?

Yes, from a standpoint of: How do you balance it? How do you create an environment influenced by what you believe, but at the same time not alienating individuals who don’t see things that way? I’ve had some great advice from guys who have built fantastic companies. [I’ve learned that] at the end of the day, you want to love on people. You want them to see the value you see in them. You want to remind them daily of how great they can be…if someone wants to have a conversation with me about what I believe, I’ll happily have that conversation with them. But day in and day out, I’m not trying to beat the door down on anybody. I’m not trying to impose what I believe on anybody. I’m just trying to love on people, respect people, remind people of how awesome they are. And in a world that’s so negative—just trying to pick [people] up a little bit every day.

What advice would you give other artists and changemakers on allowing their faith tradition into their creative or business lives?

The words you say [and] the actions you take daily tell people exactly what you believe about yourself, about them, about the world and about any higher power that you may or may not believe in. You want to take a position, in my opinion, where you integrate what you believe in how you do business ethically and morally; if you have a certain standard, you need to abide by that standard. At the same time, unless you’re outspoken that this is a religious company or brand, you don’t want to beat people over the head. I don’t think people have ever converted to one faith or another by getting yelled at, beaten over the head with something or told how terrible or how wrong they are. More often than not, it’s from someone loving on them, having genuine conversations with them and respecting them enough to care about their well-being.

It’s really about maintaining the consistency in your word and deed with the daily interactions with your team, with the products you produce and especially with the people in the community who support [your business]. It’s a fine line to walk, but I think if you have a diverse team that believes different things, but who are all committed to building that same organization, that product, that brand, they’ll find a way to work together.

Thank you Jake for sharing your story! Be sure to get some encouragement from Compete Every Day’s website, Twitter and Facebook pages. You can also connect with Jake Thompson on Facebook and Twitter.

Dear Reader: On Faith & Work

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(Photo: (cc) Esther Gibbons)

Dear Reader,

Growing up, I learned there are two topics one should never discuss at a dinner party: politics and religion. Having lived in Washington, D.C., for the past ten years, I’ve given up on the politics thing; so many people work on political issues every day that they’re bound to come up. But religion remains a sensitive subject. We all get sensitive when it comes to faith and religion because our beliefs about God are very personal, and hearing something that runs counter to those beliefs can be hurtful – even if no hurt is intended.

I remember attending a conference, and one of the speakers was introduced as a former youth pastor among the many other entrepreneurship positions on his resume. My ears perked up, as I waited to see if any aspects of his faith would come through in his presentation. They did, but not how I expected. In explaining his varied life experiences, he remarked that he used to be a pastor, but that he and Jesus were now, “…seeing other people.” Rousing laughter and applause followed the line, and I remember thinking, “Okay, not a Jesus crowd.” As a Christian, I felt uncomfortable but tried to brush it off. I knew the speaker meant no offense to me personally – how could he when he didn’t even know me – yet, I still felt hurt by his comment and the crowd’s reaction because it ran counter to my own beliefs.

For a small second, I considered mentally checking out from the rest of the conference, forgetting what any of these “non-believers” had to say because, obviously, I didn’t want to learn anything from them anyway. But, I was able to bring myself back to the reality that God had put me in that seat for a reason – to learn something and to get inspired to fulfill what He had in mind for my life. So I managed to listen to the rest of the speaker’s presentation and, in fact, I marked his as one of the most memorable and meaningful from the conference. By pushing aside whatever small offense I had initially felt, I learned that:

1) It’s possible to learn from someone who disagrees with my faith beliefs; and
2) The opinion of others can’t hinder my feelings about God, unless I allow them to.

The experience also illuminated the need for a space where artists and changemakers of faith, whatever faith that might be, can explore the connection between God and their creative work. This space is especially needed for those who don’t work in religious-themed arenas, but whose work is still driven by a practice of faith.

I’m curious to know if other artists and changemakers think about how to incorporate faith with their work, and I’m especially eager to find out how creatives who successfully navigate these waters have been able to do it; which is why I decided to focus my blog posts this month on faith and work. This month, I’m bringing you two new artist and changemaker Q&As from creatives who incorporate faith into their work lives, and offer tips on how others can do so as well.

As I fulfill God’s purpose for my life, I believe I have an opportunity to reach artists and changemakers across religious aisles. Yet, I also feel an obligation to incorporate faith into my work in an authentic way, which gives honor to the source of my creativity. If you’ve ever confronted similar feelings, I hope you’ll join me in this conversation and add your comments and questions all month long.

Xo
Courtney

Waiting for Now (Alternate Title: You’re Late)

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4.18.06WaitingfortheLight_Mike
(Photo: (cc) Mike)

Dear Reader,
I have a condition. I’m not sure if it’s psychological, neurological or astrological, but I’ve given it a name: wait-for-now syndrome.

“Now” is an idealized moment of perfect timing when a specific task – usually one being avoided – will get done. “Now” might also be referred to as “tomorrow.” People like me are constantly waiting for now to arrive in order to tackle things containing real or imagined difficulties. Writers, I’m convinced, have the most advanced form of this condition. Our specific strand of wait-for-now syndrome is rooted in the false premise that there will come a right moment to engage our creative work. And so, we wait for it. We wait for the sun to shine through our window at the right angle, the air to rest on our backs at the right degree, our coffee to cool to the right temperature and any number of environmental comforts to fall into alignment signaling that “now” has arrived and we are ready to write.

As often as I’ve waited for such moments to appear, they never have. They do exist, but not in the magical way that I hold out hope for. When I write something, no matter what it is, there is always a moment when everything falls into place and the words start to feel good on the page; but that only comes after some intense agitation. Perhaps that’s why those of us suffering with wait-for-now syndrome get stuck, because our memories deceive us. We hold onto the excitement of writing something that we are proud of in the forefront of our consciousness, but subconsciously we remember the creative pain we had to endure to get there. Thus, our subconscious convinces us to stay in waiting mode where we can hang onto the enthusiasm of our ideas without entering into the necessary struggle that accompanies their creation. However, our condition inhibits us from mindfully connecting the dots between the journey and the end result, known to many as the process.

For me, the writing process never changes. Once I’ve decided to actually start something, I outline my thoughts; write a bunch of disjointed sentences; cry out, “Why is this so hard!?”; pace a little; find a snack; sit back down; write some more and continue through the sludge until, at some point, it gets easier. And I’ve noticed that life follows a similar pattern. An idea is born; we hide from it until courage, curiosity or desperation compels us to do something; we find it difficult and non-linear; we eat our frustration; we somehow manage to get back to work; and if we can figure out a way to keep going we find that, at some point, it gets easier.

What we must do, us wait-for-now people, is constantly remind ourselves that this is how it always is…and it always gets easier. But only after we start, and stay, in the process. We can’t keep waiting.

xo
Courtney

P.S.

Sorry to keep you waiting on my posts for 2015. Next week we get back to our monthly themes. In February, we’re exploring “Faith and Work.” See you next week!